S8: E156 Summer Health Series: Parenting in the Young Years (0-4 year olds)

 Afternoon Ti

Season 8

Episode 156

Summer Health Series:  Parenting in the Young Years (0-4 year olds)

We’re in the middle of our summer health series and I’ve been spending time as an uber driver for my girls more than ever.   Lots of singing in the car, talks about nothing and everything, and realizing that time is running out with my oldest daughter before she leaves our home in four years.  When I go out for morning runs or walk the dog in my neighborhood I often pass young moms pushing strollers, chasing toddlers in the front yard, or holding their little ones while talking with neighbors.  It feels like it was yesterday for me!

The days are long, but the years are short - Gretchen Rubin

I’m feeling this phrase so much these days as my oldest moves into high school and my youngest moves into middle school.  No longer do we have any little ones.  No elementary kids or toddler days or baby snuggles.  I have to get those through watching friends’ kids and spending time with my nieces and nephews.  And even they’re all growing up too fast too.

I’ve spent time reflecting on Riley’s younger years in May as we said goodbye to her middle school years and are now entering raising her in her high school years.  It’s not just the child who changes over the years - we, as parents, do as well.  One of the healthiest things we can do in the summers as teachers who also have our own kids is to find ways to interact with our kids doing things that are meaningful to them and to us and make time for rest and play for ourselves and our kids.  

So here are some parenting tips that helped me keep my sanity and helped me try my best to stay healthy in the summer months.  I organized these ideas by the age of the children because there are things we are able to do when kids are older that likely aren’t as easy when they’re younger.  These ideas aren’t meant to pressure you to do things a specific way - hopefully it’s encouraging if anything - and maybe you’ll find an idea or two to try that brings a moment of joy or a new favorite thing!  Disclaimer:  I’m not a pediatrician so these ideas are things that worked for our family and our girls.  Always be sure to follow the advice of your doctor for what is best for your child.

Baby Years (0-1 year old) 

1. Sleep when the baby sleeps.  

If you truly feel you need to get something done, set a timer.  Do one thing.  Then go sit.  Go sleep.  Go read.  Do something that is restful.

2. Sing and speak to them (reading books is great but I often would speak short poems that I shared with Kindergartners in class and had memorized).  A lot of times I’d have my feet propped up on the coffee table and one of the girls sitting in my lap with their back resting on my legs,  I’d hold their hands and tap the beat to a song or poem I was speaking.  Or bounce my legs or sway them.  I sang them songs by my favorite artists - the Beatles, Christian Aguilera (Makes me wanna Pray - Riley loved it), Stevie Wonder.  If you love rock, sing rock.  Dance to rock with them.  If you love classical, do classical.  They don’t have to be only lullabies.  Though we had our favorites for those too (Hush little baby and Silent Night)

3. Read books that are tactile - things they can touch and drool on and grab.  

Melissa and Doug

That’s not my Puppy by Fiona Watt was a total favorite of my girls and lasted forever

4. When your baby is crying and won’t stop, go for a walk with them.  Or a drive.  Or something where you know they’re going to cry, but at least you can take away some of the stress of it from your shoulders when they just won’t be consoled.  You’ll learn your babies cries and what each one means.  A hurt cry sounds different from a sad cry.

5. If someone offers to make you dinner or help in some way, let them if you feel ready to accept their help.

Toddler Years (1-4 year old)

1. Seesaw - using a laundry basket

2. Nap when (if) they nap - Riley stopped taking naps at age two right before Julia was born.  Sometimes I’d lay on the couch while Riley played on the floor in front of me.  I wasn’t able to sleep, but I was at least resting.  

3. Play with them and also let them play by themselves 

4. Have a general schedule for your day - some predictability gives stability and also helps with the flow for the day.  But with options for what they want to do without it being too scheduled.  Here is an idea of what I did each summer day with my girls:

• Woke up/breakfast

• Morning walk/park time (Dallas is hot so we always did walks early morning and played on the park before it was too hot to touch things)

• Tv time or playing

• Lunch

• Reading books after lunch

• Nap (maybe)

• Snack

• Tv time or playing  (favs was these giant climbing blocks:

• Amazon Climbing Blocks

  Wayfair Climbing Blocks

We found ours at Target, but haven’t seen them there in a long time.

• Dinner

• Baths

• Reading, Praying, Singing, Bed

5. Early toddler years when they’re still in their crib -  let them hang out in their beds when they first wake up.  Listening in to their conversations with themselves is some of the best time!  Riley had bedding that had little yellow bugs and she’d scratch at them and talk to them.  Julia would just yell.  Loudly.  And stood at her bed talking.  Loudly.  If you know they can’t get out and they’re safe, don’t feel as though you have to get them asap when they wake up.  Give them a little time.  Give yourself a little time.

Preschool Years:

1. If they want to wear an oversized felt headband every day, let them.  If they want to wear a dress up outfit out to the store, let them.  Just make sure to get a picture to show them years later.  Choose your battles the best you can.

2. Unless you or someone you trust that knows your child (teacher, doctor, close friend) shares an observation or test results showing that there is a speech delay, learning difficulty in an area, or something that doesn’t seem to be on track, trust that they will learn their ABC’s, numbers, addition, writing skills, and social skills in due time.  Relax and trust that it will come in time.  There’s plenty of time for those things to come.  If you want to have them do workbook pages, great. If you want to be creative with playdoh, sand, chalk in writing letters, great. If you don’t want to do anything with it, great.

3. Play pretend.  Then don’t.  Play games.  Then don’t.  It’s perfectly wonderful for your child to have time with you and to have time by themselves.

4. Set a flexible routine.  One that keeps nap times around the same time each day, but varies.  Was helpful for me in keeping sanity.

5. Go on adventures.  Walks to the park.  Spa days at home (nail polish, soaking feet in bowls, hand spa in the sink - literally water and hand soap).  

6. Any toys that are hard plastic and can be sanitized, buy used.  They’ll outgrow them after a few years, but are durable to last and they’re expensive when purchased new.