Afternoon Ti
Season 8
Episode 154
I’m so happy to be back with you after a month off. As April was ending I was burning out fast. There were a lot of things that hit all at once and I knew that in order to finish the school year I needed to step back from all the extras. Around mid-April I broke my left radius on a hiking trip and was in a cast. This added a whole new element to teaching on a cart. My wedding rings were lost on the same trip and never found. My coworker passed away from brain cancer at the age of 33 towards the end of April and then Julia’s soccer coach passed away in a golf cart accident ten days later. Walking alongside our youngest daughter as she mourned her amazing coach was hard. Grief always is. All of this led up to needing time spent focused on my family, my students, and the bare essentials.
This episode is broken down into three topics with three answers for each one: What I learned on my month ‘off,’ what I’m doing this summer to continue the work to prevent burnout, and how I’m taking what I experienced into the next year.
What I learned on my month off:
1 - It’s okay to mourn what wasn’t
I had pushed myself to a place that wasn’t sustainable because I felt like I was failing in many areas. “I’ve never worked so hard to get mediocre results” - not seeing the ‘results’ I was used to seeing. Comparison was killing me. Feeling inadequate. No closure for the year. It just ended.
2 - Success looks differently in different times
I’m used to my idea of success showing up in a certain way. And this year it never came. Most years May is a time of wrapping up the year and reflecting on all the things that had been accomplished or that students had demonstrated and the excitement of a year well done. After a year of no singing inside, no music sharings (performances), no select ensembles or traveling to share with other schools, teaching on a cart while going from room to room and upstairs/downstairs numerous times a day, teaching students online and in person at the same time, and doing what I could to allow students to make music through drumming and barred instruments, May became a month of daily making the choice to show up to give my best despite not seeing ‘results.’ Not seeing or hearing what told me that I was doing a good job. That I was making a difference. Not having tangible results that labeled me a ‘good teacher.’ This past month I found that getting up each morning, focusing on the students in front of me with a positive outlook and an excitement about the day, and giving all I had (to whatever capacity that was) was my success. Most times it had nothing to do with what I was teaching musically. In fact the relation aspects became the biggest success of my year.
3 - Relationships make the difference
My biggest takeaway this year was that while curriculum content was a struggle, the relationships I built with colleagues, friends and students were the biggest success of my year. How important it is to be present with those we love and equally important to turn off work to be able to focus on the ones we live with.
What I’m doing this summer to continue the work of preventing burnout:
1 - Choosing one day a week to check work emails
2 - Spending time with my people - my family and friends and coworkers
3 - Spending time doing simple things mostly unrelated to work - reading, writing, running, games with our family, being a mom and a wife
How I’m taking what I’ve experienced this year into next year:
1 - Rebuilding year: starting with a lot of basics (particularly melodic elements), reviewing familiar,
2 - Surrounding myself with a community of people - mutually encouraging each other, lifting each other up, fighting for each other
3 - Find the good and be the good - keep my focus on what is working, what is going well, and less on looking at other’s lanes and comparing what they were able to do. Your restrictions are different than theirs. Your results will be different than theirs.
A few questions for you to think on as your year draws to a close:
1 - How would you define success this year?
2 - Who are your people?
3 - What do you want to keep from this past year?
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